I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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