Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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