at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
