There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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