There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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