i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
