okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
