I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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