Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Small penises have feelings too.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
