Define "chronic" masturbator.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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