Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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