Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
