honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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