garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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