If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
