just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am available for nakedness
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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