I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
