i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
someone owes me an orgasm
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
