I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
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There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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