that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
