i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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