these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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