Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize