Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His nipple licking is glorious
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