After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
