can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
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