Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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