why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
