K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
