You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize