I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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