I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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