The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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