Porn is love you can see.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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