Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
