Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
