So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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