remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
