U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
