i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
