i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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