Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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