i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
