I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
