is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize