i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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