yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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