you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize