So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
