I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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