I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
