I hope mine doesn't look like that
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
