So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
