You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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