I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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