It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
