in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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