Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
