what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
