His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize