So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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