do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
