I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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