You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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