just come out here and I will go home with you...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
