For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
