but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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