I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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