so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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