Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I am morally bankrupt
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
