I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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