i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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