I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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