but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize