he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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