my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
