do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
