How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize